I wonder where the expression “Falling in Love” comes from? It sounds romantic….I guess, but is it something we should strive for?
I got to wondering about this and began to search for biblical insight on “falling in love”….I found some interesting stuff. The following are a few Scriptures that reference “falling in love”:
Genesis 34:1-3 (CJB)
1One time Dinah the daughter of Le’ah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the local girls; 2 and Sh’khem the son of Hamor the Hivi, the local ruler, saw her, grabbed her, raped her and humiliated her. 3 But actually he was strongly attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob; he fell in love with the girl and tried to win her affection.
Judges 16:1-5 (GW)
1 Samson went to Gaza. There he saw a prostitute and slept with her. 2 The people of Gaza were told, “Samson’s here!” So they surrounded the place and waited all night at the city gate to ambush him. They were quiet all night. They thought, “We’ll kill him at dawn.” 3 But Samson was in bed [with the prostitute] only until midnight. Then he got up, took hold of the doors, door posts, and bar of the city gate and pulled them out. He carried them on his shoulders to the top of the hill facing Hebron. 4 After [leaving Gaza], he fell in love with a woman in the Sorek Valley. Her name was Delilah. 5 The Philistine rulers came to her and said, “Trick him, and find out what makes him so strong. Find out how we can overpower him. We want to tie him up in order to torture him. Each of us will give you 1,100 pieces of silver.”
I Samuel 18:14-29 (GW)
14 He was successful in everything he undertook because the LORD was with him. 15 Saul noticed how very successful he was and became [even more] afraid of him. 16 Everyone in Israel and Judah loved David, because he led them in and out [of battle]. 17 Finally, Saul said to David, “Here is my oldest daughter Merab. I will give her to you as your wife if you prove yourself to be a warrior for me and fight the LORD’s battles.” (Saul thought, “I must not lay a hand on him. Let the Philistines do that.”) 18 “Who am I?” David asked Saul. “And how important are my relatives or my father’s family in Israel that I should be the king’s son-in-law?” 19 But when the time came to give Saul’s daughter Merab to David, she was married to Adriel from Meholah. 20 However, Saul’s daughter Michal fell in love with David. When Saul was told about it, the news pleased him. 21 Saul thought, “I’ll give her to David. She will trap him, and the Philistines will get him.” So he said to David a second time, “You will now be my son-in-law.” 22 Saul ordered his officers, “Talk to David in private. Tell him, ‘The king likes you, and all his officers are fond of you. Become the king’s son-in-law.'” 23 When Saul’s officers made it a point to say this, David asked, “Do you think it’s easy to become the king’s son-in-law? I am a poor and unimportant person.” 24 When the officers told Saul what David had said, 25 Saul replied, “Tell David, ‘The king doesn’t want any payment for the bride except 100 Philistine foreskins so that he can get revenge on his enemies.'” In this way Saul planned to have David fall into the hands of the Philistines. 26 When his officers told David this, David concluded that it was acceptable to become the king’s son-in-law. Before the time was up, 27 David and his men went out and struck down 200 Philistines. David brought the foreskins, and they counted them out for the king so that David could become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal as his wife. 28 Saul realized that the LORD was with David and that his daughter Michal loved David. 29 Then Saul was even more afraid of David, and so Saul became David’s constant enemy for the rest of his life.
II Samuel 13:1-14 (GW)
1 After this, David’s son Amnon fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of David’s son Absalom. 2 Amnon was so obsessed with his half sister Tamar that he made himself sick. It seemed impossible for him to be alone with her because she was a virgin. 3 Amnon had a friend by the name of Jonadab, a son of David’s brother Shimea. Jonadab was a very clever man. 4 He asked Amnon, “Why are you, the king’s son, so worn out morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?” “I’m in love with Absalom’s sister Tamar,” he answered. 5 Then Jonadab told him, “Lie down on your bed. Act sick, and when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come to feed me. She can prepare a meal in front of me as I watch her, and she can feed me.'” 6 So Amnon lay down and acted sick, and the king came to see him. Amnon asked the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make some bread in front of me, and she can feed me.” 7 David sent for Tamar at the palace. “Please go to your brother Amnon’s home,” he said, “and prepare some food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s home. He was lying down. She took dough, kneaded it, made flat bread in front of him, and cooked it. 9 Then she took the pan and served him [the bread]. But he refused to eat. “Have everyone leave me,” he said. So everyone left him. 10 Amnon told Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom so that you can feed me.” Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in the bedroom. 11 When she handed it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, Tamar!” 12 “No,” she told him, “don’t rape me! That shouldn’t be done in Israel. Don’t do this godless act! 13 Where could I go in my disgrace? And you will be considered one of the godless fools in Israel! Speak to the king. He won’t refuse your request to marry me.” 14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. He grabbed his sister and raped her.
Ezekiel 23:7, 11-17 GW
7She became a prostitute for all the important men in Assyria. She dishonored herself with the idols of all those with whom she fell in love; 11 “Even though her younger sister Oholibah saw this, Oholibah lusted after men more than her sister did. Oholibah’s prostitution became worse than her sister’s prostitution. 16 She fell in love with them at first sight and sent messengers to them in Babylonia. 17 So these men came from Babylon, went to bed with her, and dishonored her with their lust. After they had dishonored her, she turned away from them in disgust.
2 Timothy 4:10 GW
Demas has abandoned me. He fell in love with this present world and went to the city of Thessalonica. Crescens went to the province of Galatia, and Titus went to the province of Dalmatia.
There’s not a whole lot of reference but what’s interesting is that each Scripture that speaks on the subject has to do with some form of lust, rape and deception.
Looking up the definition of the word ‘fall’ I found the following:
1. To be cast down
2. To undergo conquest or capture, especially as the result of an armed attack
3. To experience defeat or ruin:
4. To decline in value
5. To give in to temptation; sin.
a. Theology To lose primordial innocence and happiness. Used of humanity as a result of the Fall.
b. A moral lapse.
c. To lose one’s chastity.
So now, I’m beginning to see that through worldly wisdom and deceit, we have been sucked into the belief that falling in love is some sort of great virtue that we all must strive for. The whole world has been deceived by this seemingly noble quest. Everyone wants to “fall in love” and it has wreaked havoc on all of mankind….”falling into anything is rarely a good thing”.
I Wonder if this is the reason that everyone keeps falling in and out of love…..perhaps what we’ve really done is just fall; because most of what people are feeling is lust and emotions….not love at all.
True love grows. So why don’t we change our mindset and “grow in love” rather than ‘fall in love’?
1. To increase in size by a natural process.
2. a. To expand; gain..
b. To increase in amount or degree; intensify.
3. To develop and reach maturity.
4. To be capable of growth; thrive.
5. To become attached by or as if by the process of growth.
6. To come into existence from a source; spring up: love that grew from friendship.
7. To come to be by a gradual process or by degrees; become:grow closer.
1. To cause to grow; raise.
2. To allow (something) to develop or increase by a natural process.
3. To cause to increase or expand by concerted effort.
1. To develop or change so as to fit: He grew into the relationship slowly.
1. To become gradually more evident to.
2. To become gradually more pleasurable or acceptable to.
So we see a distinct difference between falling in love and growing in love. I have often wondered why man is referred to as sheep….it’s because we like sheep are such followers….man has always been easily influenced by worldly wisdom, because instead of listening for the voice of God, they listen to the voice of the world.
• In Scripture we learn that the love God purposes for us is one that grows out of relationship….first with Him….then towards our fellow men:
• Romans 5:5 KJV
And hope maketh not ashamed ; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
In a previous message, I made the point that we don’t have love because we don’t have Truth. Seeking after God with all of our hearts is key to finding Truth and Love; we cannot have one without the other:
• 2 Thessalonians 2:10 KJV
And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish ; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved .
• 1 John 3:18 KJV
My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
• 2 John 1:1 KJV
The elder unto the elect lady and her children, whom I love in the truth; and not I only, but also all they that have known the truth;
• 2 John 1:3 KJV
Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love.
Most importantly, we have to change our mindset from earthly to heavenly, from worldly wisdom to Godly wisdom and we can’t sit back and listen to what others tell us….we must search the Scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit to teach us. To grow in (Truth and) Love is to have the life of God growing in us:
1 John 3:14
We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love other believers. The person who doesn’t grow in love remains in death.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to “fall in love” ever again. I will only seek to grow in love. What are your thoughts on this subject.